The Wellness Temple - Blue Monster flower, three types of shatter, samples, and a goodie bag
MOM Name: The Wellness Temple
Overall rating: 8/10
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Ordering & Pricing: Ordering is done through their website in the normal fashion. Their prices are pretty competitive, with ounces ranging from 84 to 240 dollars, though the bulk of strains are 150 or higher. They currently have 41 strains in stock, so there's quite the variety of flower to choose from. They also have a decent selection of concentrates, mostly focused on shatter and live resin. Their shatter is affordable, with several types at the 32 dollar mark and most no higher than 36. There's a similarly-sized selection of edibles, but I don't use them much so I only skimmed through this section. There look to be some pretty tasty wares on sale, though I have seen better deals elsewhere strictly on a per mg basis.
Communication: I didn't have to communicate via email on this order. However, the package was dispatched on Tuesday after being ordered on the long weekend and arrived on Thursday, which is the usual timespan for my MOM orders. There is a live chat on their website, but I didn't have to use it either.
Packaging: The packaging job was excellent. An outer plastic wrapper contained a cardboard box that was sealed inside a second layer of plastic. Opening the box revealed a vacuum sealed bag containing the products and a small bubble wrap bag containing various goodies. There was zero smell until the vacuum sealed bag was penetrated.
Products / Photos: This was my first time ordering from The Wellness Temple. I purchased one ounce of Blue Monster flower (indica-dominant hybrid), along with one gram each of Uptown Extracts Megalodon Shatter (sativa), Wellness Temple Animal Cookies Shatter (indica-dominant hybrid), and True Lion Platinum Romulan Shatter (indica). This came to a subtotal of 254 dollars, reduced to a final total of just over 203 dollars by the 20% off sale that was active at the time. In addition to what I ordered, I also received a free gram of Girl Scout Cookies (indica-dominant hybrid) and a free joint of Blueberry AK (hybrid). On top of that, they sent a small goodie bag of cannabis-related items. Mine contained the following: one pack of OCB rolling papers, one pack of Raw filter tips, two of the small 62% Boveda packs, and the single cheapest pipe I've ever seen in my life. Don't get me wrong, free is free and I appreciate it, but this thing is hilarious. I'll be reviewing each of these accessories along with the cannabis products, because why not?
Blue Monster - I wanted to restock on indica and decided to buy this strain mostly because I liked the name. Blue Monster has an earthy, sour aroma, and comes in the form of decent-sized nugs that largely taper into a point at the end. The nugs themselves are fairly frosty, with a bunch of orange hairs covering each one. This flower smokes incredibly well in both joints and bongs and produces a clean, white ash. It's a heavy-hitter, and my eyes were drooping pretty soon after I was done blazing. There was a comfortable pressure in my head and I was overall not in any mood to get up out of my chair. I'm not going to be smoking this stuff every day, but I'm glad I have it around. I especially think it'll be great for evening weed, or maybe for watching movies. It usually costs 150 dollars, but I got it for 120, and I feel like I got a pretty good deal.
Girl Scout Cookies - This sample came as one airy, slightly dry nug. It smells spicy and smokes pretty clean with a grayish-white ash. The effects are fairly calming with a stronger head effect than I was expecting from an indica-dominant hybrid. As with the Blue Monster, I was moderately couchlocked afterwards and I regretted smoking a joint of it right before leaving the house. It was a little bit harsh to smoke due to the dryness and I overall didn't enjoy it quite as much as the Blue Monster. That said, it wasn't bad weed at all and I enjoyed the sample, though likely not enough to purchase it for myself.
Blueberry AK joint - This smoked clean and smooth, producing a fine white ash. Effects-wise, it came off like your standard ~50-50 hybrid, with decent potency but not much to distinguish the high relative to other cannabis. It was a pretty good time though, and for a free preroll, I certainly can't complain.
Uptown Extracts Megalodon Shatter - This shatter is extremely stable and can easily be broken up and manipulated by hand. It's almost like a broken piece of stained glass that you can see straight through. The taste is hard to describe. It's bit earthy, but there's this sort of sharp taste as well and I can't place it at all. The effects are very strongly oriented towards the head, and it picked me up right away when I smoked it as if I'd just taken a swig of coffee. This is strong, high-quality shatter and I don't think it's overpriced at 36 dollars a gram, meaning I got a great deal by picking it up for about 29.
Wellness Temple Animal Cookies Shatter - Unlike the last shatter, this one is quite goopy, though it gets somewhat easier to work with once you've got it off the paper. The consistency was a bit of a problem because the wax paper it's on is very thin and the wax was oozing right up to the edge of it on one side. I had to try and gather the shatter and move it away from the edge because any time I tried to take shatter off that portion, the paper would just rip. It wasn't that bad, but it was a mild annoyance. I can't really describe the flavour, but it wasn't overly strong and wasn't really identifiable as anything in particular. The effects are mostly body-oriented, but I didn't really find it to be that potent. I've gone through quite a bit of it already and while I can get a decent buzz going, it fades very quickly. It might just be that the strain didn't agree with me, but this is the only part of the order I really wasn't a fan of. I wouldn't be opposed to trying a different type of Wellness Temple shatter in the future, but I won't be buying the Animal Cookies again.
True Lion Platinum Romulan Shatter - This shatter is between the last two in terms of stability. It's nowhere near as goopy as the Animal Cookies, but it's got a much more taffy-like consistency than the Megalodon. The flavour on this one is really strong. It tastes like... some kind of vegetable, maybe? In case you can't tell, I'm not so good at distinguishing the flavours of shatter, but what I can say for sure is that this stuff tastes pretty good for such an inexpensive concentrate (32 a gram regular, ~26 on sale). As far as the potency is concerned, I'd say it's not going to rock your world, but it's definitely not weak either. It produces the nice, relaxing stone you'd expect from a 100% indica, and I think it's a pretty good buy for what it costs. I'd be happy to try True Lion shatter again, though I'd likely want to buy another strain just for variety's sake.
OCB rolling papers - These are a bit smaller than the Raws I usually use, but that aside, they're perfectly good rolling papers. I probably won't be switching brands, but I appreciate the chance to broaden my horizons a bit by trying them out.
Raw filter tips - They're filter tips. What else can I say? They aren't perforated, so if that's important to you, maybe try another kind.
Boveda packs - These things are a godsend if you keep a large quantity of cannabis around. As long as you keep it in a sealed glass jar, the pack will keep your buds nice and fresh for a very long time. I strongly recommend picking some up if you haven't already.
The world's cheapest pipe - I swear, this pipe is fucking hysterical. It's simple clear glass with a stem that's about four inches long and maybe a half centimetre wide. It works perfectly fine, even if it feels a bit weird to smoke off such a thin stem, but it feels like it will explode into a million pieces if you look at it wrong. I'll probably keep it as a disposable little thing where it doesn't matter if it breaks or not. To be clear, I'm not seriously criticizing TWT with this part of the review. I get that they had to buy really cheap pipes in bulk to send as freebies and, as I said before, free is free. I appreciate that they sent it and it's way better than getting no pipe at all.
Incentive for Customers: Free shipping over 199 dollars.
Incentive for Review: None.
Conclusion: Overall, I'd say this was a positive first order with a bump or two in the road. The Blue Monster is very good quality flower in my opinion, and while I wasn't blown away by the two samples, neither was bad cannabis by any stretch (just not as good as the Blue Monster). The Megalodon Shatter deserves to be shouted out for its high quality and I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a clean, powerful dab. The True Lion is also good, albeit a bit more average than the Megalodon. The Animal Cookies Shatter was the one thing in the order I truly didn't like. It looks good on the wax paper, but it just wasn't doing it for me in all other departments. I'm not sore about it though, especially since I enjoyed everything else they sent. Finally, I really appreciated the goodie bag of accessories. I needed small Boveda packs and filter tips, so that was super convenient, and while the cheap pipe is ridiculous, it's still a nice thing to have around. I definitely plan to purchase from The Wellness Temple again in the future.
Photo notes: Photo #1: Blue Monster. Photo #2: Girl Scout Cookies. Photo #3: Megalodon shatter (left), Animal Cookies shatter (centre), Romulan shatter (right). The pre-roll and various accessories are not pictured.
