Rippin' It Up At Breakneck SPEEDGREENS! Seven Flower Strain & Double Concentrate Review! (Part I)
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Disclaimer:
This review is based off of a mixed order: the concentrates and dutch treat were part of a legitimate purchase, and the quad flowers were samples provided for review. I have no affiliation with SpeedGreens beyond the scope of this review.
MOM Name
SpeedGreens
speedgreens.ca
Overall rating out of 10:
9.5
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Sign Up:
Simple, but, like most places selling intoxicants that don’t want their doors kicked in, SpeedGreens requires photo ID. I’ve seen a few posts here and on Reddit from people who seem overly concerned with this practice, though I can’t imagine why, it’s standard. That said, I received the ID request after payment had been sent and accepted. The age and identity should be confirmed before payment has been taken. Not sure if this was a temporary thing, or a one-off because my ordering process was slightly unorthodox, having been in contact with them via email first.
Ordering & Pricing:
I am of the opinion that a starfish could get through a successful order with SpeedGreens. The website reeks of ultra-slick e-commerce, though I did spot a conflict between the New Arrivals pricing and the pricing on the rest of the website, possibly leftover from Black Friday sales.
At $209 an ounce for quads, I would say they are worth every penny. Like most MOMS, SpeedGreens seems to always offer budget strains and options, as well as mark-downs on quads (the quad OG Cheese was on for $160oz at the time of this review; good deal!).
Personally, I ordered two grams of concentrates at $29/g, minus the 20% off for new customers, and including the 3.5g dutch treat gift.
Communication:
All I can say is WOW, the communication with SpeedGreens is truly exceptional. This whole company exudes a professionalism that is above par in my opinion, and I sincerely hope they manage to sustain it. Every single communication I had with SpeedGreens was prompt, polite, and professional (the 3 P’s!). Each question or concern I had was addressed extremely rapidly, and in one case, was responded to by multiple parties. I really had zero problems dealing with SpeedGreens, quite the opposite, I find them extremely pleasant people to interact with.
Packaging:
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Packing was fantastic, if a bit excessive: both packages came inside of proper Canada Post shipping boxes, inside of which were comically large mylar bags, which contained further vacuum sealed bags. Beyond the vacuum sealing, the flowers were individually packaged in prescription pill bottles with cutesy photoshop cartoon labels (nice touch!). Each bottle contained it’s own boveda pack and the humidity was spot on. The concentrates each had their own mylar bags, and further packaging within. The take-away here is, while all this packaging is very neat and tidy, it may be a bit excessive for those folks who tend to send this stuff off to the dump. I reuse, so no real gripe.
Here’s where the SPEED in SpeedGreen’s might want to pump the brakes: I had initially placed an order for two grams of concentrates, which included 3.5g of dutch treat. I actually received all of those items, twice! One set shipped in one box, and another set shipped with the samples. Once I realized this mistake had been made, I promptly contacted SpeedGreens to see if it was a shipping error, or if it had been intentional, and further, what to do about it. I received a prompt reply informing me that it had, indeed, been a shipping mix-up on their part and that I was free to keep the items as a gift for the review! Not only that, but I was further contacted in a more formal email, thanking me for my honesty and again, reiterating that I may keep the items as a gift (I had already started smoking them by that point, #DontGottaTellMeTwice, #realtalk).
Products / Photos:
General Notes:
To their credit, SpeedGreens provided me with some primetime 1g+ sample buds for photography purposes, and as such I won’t really comment on bud size past here… suffice it to say, they were all juicy! ;). Everything was dead on weight or over. Each bud (with the exception of the dutch treat) was both excellently trimmed and cured, with varying degrees of tackiness.
Godberry: Indica (AAAA)
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Oh my GOD, this BERRY! This might be the most potent and powerful indica I have tried to date. For those who have health conditions such as myself, this bud is pure therapy. Whatever it is you are in need of: pain management, sleep assistance, appetite stimulation, this bud is going to provide you relief. I smoked one 0.2g bowl and it put me into a coma for 7 solid hours. To say it is coated in trichomes is an understatement; I find myself searching more for bud under the trichomes, rather than trichomes over the buds. The quality is exceptional, a true quad through and through. The aroma of the Godberry is an intoxicating sweet skunk smell; I want to shove it up my nose (I did)! Under magnification, there is a good amount of amber to the trichomes, signally a mature bud. The effects are strong and long lasting, though admittedly, this stuff knocks me out everytime, so I’m never awake to experience any effects other than sedation. :)
My Rating: 5/5 SUPERB!
Sour Diesel: Sativa (AAAA)
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I’ve had sour diesel before, but not like this. This sour diesel is like a hydrogen rocketship with no parachute, and no landing gear. The high is intense. I almost thought I was going to start hallucinating mildly. I have never hallucinated from a marijuana high, but I might have gotten close with this. The “come up” is hard and fast, I felt damn near drunk for the first fifteen minutes, and I had to hide my forklift keys so that I wouldn’t get any stupid ideas. All joking aside, its a strong sativa, not exactly a little extra spring in your step, more like full intoxication with a side of coordination problems. I loved that initial 20 minute feeling. What I didn’t like so much was the HARD and sudden burnout. Felt like I went up to the sky, and then got smacked to Earth with a giant ACME mallet. Passed out, over, done. SpeedGreens sour diesel is like an amusement park experience--by the end of the day, the adrenaline, sun, and line-ups have sucked the life out of you. Shorten that day to one 0.2g vape bowl, and sour diesel from SpeedGreens is what you have. I found the smell more sweet than sour or diesel, but the diesel come out huge when you start getting clouds of vapour passing over your tastebuds. The bud is absolutely coated in short milky white trichomes. I could spot no amber colouration to any of the trichomes, so in my mind this rates AAA+ to AAAA-; a true quad should have more mature trichomes, and this probably explains the relatively brief, strong high, with a rather ugly burnout.
My Rating: 4.5/5
Sunkiss CBD: Hybrid CBD & THC (AAA)
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This marks my first, official, CBD/THC Hybrid strain. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much as I know the THC % for these strains is generally below 10%, and I use cannabis so frequently that there is probably more potency in one of my teardrops, but, I found myself pleasantly surprised! I used this strain to wake and bake, because I knew I wouldn’t get much off of it later in the day, and for that purpose it worked quite well. It was a nice, mild, cerebral high, that I almost hardly noticed unless I was paying attention. I did notice that I was a bit cheerier and active, and I definitely take those as positive effects. Wee bit of a burnout here, which kind of surprised me.
The effects are mild for me, but I think they are meant to be that way for everyone. This would certainly be a great strain for beginners or those who really can’t stand the anxiety and paranoia that cannabis can be synonymous with, because there is none of that here.
The Sunkiss CBD is a really attractive looking flower. It has perhaps the most bright orange pistils I have seen on a bud, and it just looks “happy.” The aroma was sort of a mossy/piney smell, and I found that odd mossy quality carried through in the vapor flavour.
I doubt I would purchase this strain again, I tend to go for potency, but it was nice to have had the legit CBD bud experience.
My Rating: 3.5/5
Dutch Treat: Hybrid (AA)
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I have seen SpeedGreen’s AA dutch treat get kicked around on the forum a little bit, and I think some estimations are fair, and others harsh. I don’t agree at all that this should be rated as A quality. I have had A quality cannabis, and I consider it unsmokable--only good for edibles and extracts. I’d say that this dutch treat is exactly where SpeedGreens says it is, AA. It has a lousy trim, immature trichomes, not a great aroma nor vape flavour, but it is smokable in a pipe, joint or vape, you won’t die hacking up a lung, and it will get you stoned. If you could afford to make extracts and edibles from this bud, I think they would be excellent. For people on a budget, people looking for a little less than a rocketship, people looking to make good edibles and extracts, or people looking to throw free weed from a Christmas float, I’d say the dutch treat is a safe bet! For quad connoisseurs, those with a high tolerance, or those seeking a high degree of therapy from their bud, I would strongly suggest spending more money.
My Rating: 2.5/5
Jack Herer Shatter (AAAA)
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This shatter has a really nice colour, and a decent cure--perhaps a tad on the sticky side (less snap), but easy to work with. I had two grams of this come, one sugared-up ever so slightly at the edges, and the other stayed stable. In all honesty, I haven’t cleaned my banger in forever, so I don’t really look for things like residuals in the banger, but judging by the colour, I’d say it is good and clean. The vapor it produces has a nice terpene profile, nothing overwhelming to write home to mom about, but it is certainly there. The effects are quick acting but not overwhelmingly strong. I find it is a very nice relaxing, euphoric stone, that gives that classic pressure behind the eyes sensation. This shatter isn’t as dramatically strong or long lasting as some AAAA shatter that I’ve had--I’ve had some that made me sweat like I was trapped in a sauna--but typically, true AAAA shatter is priced higher than $29 a gram. If I were to give it an honest evaluation, I’d say this shatter is more like AAA+ in terms of potency, terpene profile, and cure. At $29 a gram, or at the cheaper Black Friday price for those who were lucky, I honestly can’t see anybody being disappointed (I accept harsh criticism if you feel like I am way off). I will definitely order more, and their budders are very nice too!
My Rating: 4/5
Incentive for Customers:
20% new customer discount code, complimentary AA 3.5g on signup, free-shipping over $99, 4 free pre-rolls for orders over $179.
Incentive for Review:
I was provided samples of six strains for review.
Notes:
SpeedGreens has some great pricing on some fairly potent concentrates, as well as some of the best quads I have tried anywhere, ever. Cannabis connoisseurs should give SpeedGreens a try at least once if they are looking for serious quality, good prices, and impeccable customer service.
**Click here to continue to Part II...**
Thanks for reading, friends!
MkLn.
